Ola, my friends. I write to you via telephone from the back of a grimy ole train headed to London Victoria, where I shall rendezvous with my fine female companion and attend an election party. I imagine everybody there will be whooping it up in support of The Obama Man, and it will be hard for me to keep such soul destroying observations as “he will still nuke Iran” to myself. Nobody wants to hear this stuff - not even me. I want to believe everything will be glorious tomorrow, but I am a student of history, and there wont no Superman be saving anybodies Metropolis any time soon. The wheels of doom will keep rolling.

Shit, even children too young to remember Nevermind coming out know what happened after Tony Blair was crowned our glorious saviour.

My woman, along with everyone else I spoke today, is confident of a democratic victory for The Democrats.
But only a fool would count that vengefull Stingray extra McPain out at this juncture. Even a blind pig finds an acorn once in a while… And The Swine do own the paper-trail-free digital voting machines, after all. And all they have to do is blame the disparity between the exit polls and the election results on racist white folks, then declare marshal law when the peacenicks, the beatniks, the freaks and darkies begin to riot. It’ll be just like the arse end of the sixties all over again.

Christ! Did I just write that? What a rotten trip to lay on a hopeful people, now, of all times.

Anyway. My American friends: how are you feeling right now? Did you vote? And for who? Was it easy? Was it hard? Did the machine wink at you?

For good or ill, I am very interested.

So, it seems that photo was not fake, and Rick “The Boss” Ross was indeed a correctional officer once upon a time.

From The Smoking Gun:

Ross (real name: William Leonard Roberts) was appointed a prison guard in December 1995 at a salary of $22,913.54, according to the below personnel record, which was provided to TSG by Jo Ellyn Rackleff, a DoC spokesperson. The rapper’s social security number is identical to that of the jail guard. According to the official document, Ross was earning $25,794.34 when he left the department in June 1997. After graduating from the DoC training academy, Ross was assigned to the South Florida Reception Center in Dade County (the lockup is one of three statewide that serves as an intake facility for new prisoners).

Oh Ricky! After that “my life is 100% real” denial the other day this stuff looks very bad. Something tells me this is gonna have more impact than Akon’s revealed fabrications, mainly becuse Ross is a rapper, not a singer, and no one really checks for Akon records because of his mythical criminal past.  But did anyone ever really believe Ross was ever a big time drug kingpin, as he raps so often, and so beautifully? As Miss Info notes:

Clearly Rick Ross claimed his “role” more than others (Too Short and Luke are quick to say they’re not flesh peddlers in real life)…but there’s heavy demand for new rapper “realness” in this biz…maybe he’s like the musical equivalent of a method actor. Didn’t Daniel Day Lewis really think he was Bill the Butcher for a couple months back during
“Gangs of New York”? (I think that really creeped out Cameron Diaz.)

Anyway. Ross dropped a freestyle claiming not to give two craps about what people say on the internets last night. “Bitch I’m the boss and I’m laughing at your blogs!” He says something about being inspired by Too $hort, which is interesting given the context. Check it. I’m checking it. I like Ross’ music, and am, as you know, able to separate artists from their art. That’s why I still bump R Kelly records. Sorry MarvJackTego!

PS - Funniest response from the comments sections of the blogs (yeah I totally read them all) comes from one LandLORD:

… my father was a C.O. …. Brooklyn House Of Detention … no shame in that … but this nigga lied ….

… never trust a bearded man with big breasts to tell the truth …

Etheration.