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Monday, March 30th, 2015

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Well, that was an an interesting week. I DJed a party for the Hasselhoff family at Blind Dragon the other night, which was super fun and slightly mental. They were filming an episode of The Rich Kids Of Beverly Hills in there, which my buddy Bobby Blair is starring in, alongside Le Hoffmeister’s daughter, Taylor.

This wasn’t the first time me and Pappa Hoff’s paths had crossed. I interviewed him for PlayLouder half a decade ago (an unedited version of the interview can be read here), and he did me this lovely drop, which I pulled out and opened my set with.

Anyway, it was beautiful night, Hoff was serenaded by a tiny boychild singing about treating his girl “like a movie star”, after which Taylor sang her new single, and I dropped the Wideboys remix of her single Collide, and did a live mash up of it and Drake’s Best I Ever Had and Rihanna’s Rudeboy in the manner of the head of a company.

hoff and kid

Not long after I was approached by The Hoff, who wished to make an announcement regarding a charity auction on the microphone, but there was no microphone because the TV production dudes had run off with all the gear so I plugged my headphones into the mic input like an old school Wu-Tang G and Le Hoff talked into my cans and raised like a billion dollars in three seconds then he gave me a hug and said he had a jacket like mine and he was going to wear it and he wished he had because then we would have been Spangly Jacket Brothers.

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Earlier this week Kanye West and Big Sean were in the club shooting the MV for It’s All Your Fault. I spent the afternoon in the DJ booth, before being eventually unceremoniously booted for being TOO FLY and potentially upstaging Kanye or somesuch. My favourite part of the day was when Charlotte and Herc came to bring me the laptop charger I’d left in the apartment, wherein they met some of my LA fam, and Herc ran around all excited and go to see the DJ booth I play in every week. “I See Daddy a WORK!” exclaimed Hercules happily, before getting super sad about having to leave as he wanted to “Play with friends.”

He got do a lot of playing though. Kate took him on a HORSE this week. I haven’t even riden a horse. What a life he’s having!

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Our old pal Darryl was in town this week. He came out to our weekly MIDNITEMEN hoedown at Blind Dragon on Saturday, and spent much of the night with his jaw dragging along the floor like an overlong necktie. It was a rare and amazing gift, to see the world we’ve created for ourselves through someone else’s eyes, an old London friend who knew us over a decade ago when we were tiny babies putting on our first club nights and learning how to use Fruity Loops.

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Its Wadey’s birthday today. We took him his favourite Swedish  breakfast of milk and croissants and presented him with his birthday present: Official Hodafther of Hercules status. He’s gonna be the best Godfather ever.

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Happy birthday Uncle Godfather Wadey. We love you so much.

 

MEANWHILE… Alongside our regular Saturday party at Blind Dragon, if you’re in La this week you can catch us at these ultra wavy events…

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— Monday, March 30th, 2015

Wednesday, March 18th, 2015

Screen Shot 2015-03-10 at 08.46.57After 4 months, the Don Family is back together. Here we see young Hercules enjoying the view of the Hollywood sign from our surprise new apartment I surprised him and his Mammadon with last Sunday after picking them up at the airport where I was shocked and stunned to find my 2DSkype family in full blown ultra 3D, the grown up lady one more beautiful than ever I could recall, glowing and shimmering like something from an epic fantasy novel, a the small boy one an effervescent sunburst of curls and joy and perfectly formed cheeks, squealing, HELLO DAAAAADDY! I BEEN FLYYYYING!”, which was nuts since last time I saw him his conversations stretched about as far as “DADDA BIKE DADDA BIKE”. Here he is enjoying one of the many cupboards. “HIDING!” he exclaimed, joyfully.

Here he is enjoying one of the many HIDING PLACES in our surprise new luxury apartment.


LADS ON LAPTOPS @wadecrescent x Hercules The Don by @akirathedon

Here he is hanging out with his uncle Wadey, who he greeted with a cheery “HELLO UNCLE WAAAADEY!” and whose room he likes to burst into in the mornings amidst extreme hangovers, partly because he loves his uncle Wadey and partly because he loves running up stairs and bursting through doors.

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Cuddles with mamma and Mickey, aka “Mouse”. He freaked the fuck out today on Hollywood Boulevard at some way-bigger-than-the-sft-toy Mickey and Minnie impersonators. “NO LIKE A MOUSE! NO LIKE A MOUSE!” he wept, gripping on to Mummy’s shoulder in horror. “BYE BYE MOUSE! BYE BYE MOUSE!” He spent much of the rest of the day wondering if we were going to encounter any more mice, which he repeatedly assured us he wouldn’t like, then freaked out a bit again when he realised there were pictures of some “mice” on his nappy. He probably thinks there’s some dastardly cosmic mouse plot against him, poor lil guy.

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Gazing at the fish. He loves the fish. “I FEED A FEEEESH!” he announces merrily every day.

We went to Santa Monica the other day. It was just like it is in GTA. We stole an aeroplane and everything. “I FLY! I FLYYYY!” squealed Hercules. “‘GEN,” he demanded as soon as it finished. Hercules is brave as fuck.

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Speaking of which, we went to my buddy Peter’s birthday party by the old LA zoo in Griffith Park the other day. There were twenty or so people there, none of whom Hercules had ever met, which bothered him not one bit. He ran around, introduced himself to everybody, butted in a game of croquet, petted some strangers’ dogs, followed some girls to the toilet, and went running off into the caves without once looking back. “I run away,” he announced proudly, after I dragged him back from one such escape attempt, before trotting back to the party beaming, ” I see friends.

Oh, how happy my family makes me. What an amazing job my beautiful wife has don with our boy, in these four months that my parenting has extended as far being a big sleepy/hungover 2D face on Skype twice a day or there abouts and reading the occasional story. Our son is funny, clever, articulate, charming, beautiful, healthy, and fearless, apart from giant-sized mice, which is fair enough frankly, had I never seen a life sized Mickey Mouse before I might be inclined to push it in front of a car and run for the hills.

They’re only here for another 3 weeks, then they fly back for another month, then back here again, and it will be hard, but it will be easy too, because I know that soon we will be together forever, making the lives we dreamed of, making each other proud, making memories to carry with us back into the stars one day. Lucky mud, as Kurt Vonnegut had it. Lucky, lucky mud.

— Wednesday, March 18th, 2015

Friday, February 27th, 2015

BEATPORT

First off, HOW THE DEVIL ARE YOU DEAR READER IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG!

Second off, we hit number two on the Beatport Charts yesterday with our Princess Superstar remix! That’s our first official release so we are super excited and running round and round the table whooping a lot. I went for a run up to Laurel Canyon on Monday and a lemon jumped out of a tree and threw itself at my head and I KNEW it was a good sign. This evening I returned from a run to find Ron Jeremy outside the apartment, mournfully clutching a phone to his ear, stained black from hair dye. I felt lucky. I’d nearly been taken out by a falling palm leaf, and managed to leap over it like a racehorse at the crucial moment. A lady walking her dog applauded. I would like to thank the academy and my sponsors.

We’ve just come out the other side of Oscars week in LA, which is like another Christmas of sorts. The Boulevard was shut down all week while they erected some giant tents to contain the red carpets, as it only ever rains on the days of Major Hollywood Events, because God Hates Actors. The police were more numerous and armed than usual, and burly men in shades brandished AKs outside the Scientology centre. We DJed the Icons of The Awards pre-Oscars party, where England’s very own Patsy Palmer ran the dancefloor like a savage, whooping joyfully at every song I played, right up until Mmm Bop at the end, which sent her scurrying for the doors, although, like Harry Styles before her, she came over afterwards and thanked me for my excellent work. I told her how big a fan of hers Narstie is, and got a photo to send to him, to which he replied “OH SHIT MY BRUDDA OH SHIT”, then I worried she might go look him up and witness all the terrible slander he hurls at her character, Bianca, on his nightly Eastenders commentary. But he loves her. Everybody loves her. She is a British institution, more famous than the Prime Minsister, and she has excellent taste in music.

ATD x Patsy Palmer at The Cions of The Awards pre-Oscars party

I finally got my tattoo last week, in a legendary parlour on the Sunset Strip where Axl Rose got all his stuff done. I’ve been wanting to get it for two years, ever since Charlotte’s plastic pregnancy test came back with “3+” written on it. I nearly got it done in San Francisco a few months after that, but I got sidetracked by a bar and a comic book, and then adventure happened, as adventure does. Finally though, it exists, outside of my mind and on my hand, a beautiful little scripted reminder of one of the most beautiful moments of a life packed with beautiful moments. Every time I look at it I smile inside, and think of the joy my family brings me.

A photo posted by AKIRA THE DON (@akirathedon) on

After four months apart – a full quarter of a goddamn year - My family will finally be joining me in a week and a half, about which I am more excited than I can express with words or emoticons. Hercules talks now, and has grown some 10 centimetres or so since I last picked him up and lobbed him in the air. He’s even moved on from “Dadda” to “Daddy”. I missed the Dadda stage! Amongst so many other things! I see him almost every day on Skype, but mere moments, moments through a looking lass. I can barely conceive of his actual physical density. Still, it will all be worth it. Things are going amazingly here, as amazingly as planned, and Hercules will have a happy and successful Daddy Daddy to look up to and be positively influenced by.

VEGAS COMETH!

Anyway, I am afraid I cannot stop and chat, as I have a UK Garage set to prepare for tomorrow night, at the request of Nylon Magazine and Rita Ora. Have some instagrams, and a very special SHORT FILM PERFORMANCE from my MIDNITEbrother in arms, Mister WAAAAADE CREESCEEEENT!

A video posted by AKIRA THE DON (@akirathedon) on

 

A photo posted by AKIRA THE DON (@akirathedon) on

 

A photo posted by AKIRA THE DON (@akirathedon) on

 

A photo posted by AKIRA THE DON (@akirathedon) on

 

— Friday, February 27th, 2015

Princess Superstar - About To Blow
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    February 18, 2015


Sometimes it is important to step back a second and notice when you achieve something. This week, my new band MIDNITEMEN got their first official remix release, as part of godlike cosmic warrior goddess Princess Superstar’s ABOUT TO BLOW E.P. We did the remix on spec some months back, and P$ loved it so much she asked if she could include it on her E.P., and we were honoured. You might have heard a version of it on our FIRST CONTACT mixtape recently.

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Its a full circling of sorts, as 12 years or so ago my MIDNTEbrother Wade and I were living together in 151 Abbot’s Gardens, East Finchley, me working as a music journalist and rapping in my first rap crew, he working in bars and giving out flyers and building his networks and dreaming up his first club nights. We sent our nights off from partying roaming millionaire’s row a few blocks down the road stealing plants and lawn ornaments. I’d just given 5 exploding heads to Princess Superstar’s …Is LP in my PlayLouder review, and we found ourselves listening to it whilst tripping Deathstar-sized-balls on mushrooms at 6 am one sunny morning. We rolled around on the floor giggling in awed wonder as the CD skipped on track 6 for a straight hour, convinced a new form of music had been discovered. It wasn’t far of what Yeezus ended up sounding like a decade later, TBH.

Anyway, here’s me and Wadey in the future, living across the ocean in Los Angeles, like we used to talk about doing, remixing Princess Superstar like Gs. Go cop that thing, its grate. We’ve written an amazing ultra-Homerian turbo cosmic fairytale video treatment for it, so holla if you’re in the area and wanna help us make it. Meanwhile, our debut MV is just about ready. Here’s a sneaky screen cap. It is very very very splashy.

Akira The Don MIDNITEMEN Neon KILLER

 

Thursday, February 5th, 2015

Akira The Don - Dreaming Of America

So just before Christmas I made a new item available in my shop, as I’d just emigrated and didn’t have an shirts or anything for people to gift each other with at those most Wonderful Time of Year. That item was A SONG, written and executed by me, Akira The Don, about whatever the person who bought it wanted. Sleeve also.

I did one of these songs last week, for a safe British dude called Ben. His friends clubbed together to get it him for his birthday, and sent me a very sweet letter enquiring as to whether the item was still available, which it was, and whether I was able to do it within the fortnight, which I was.

“Well that’s gonna make somebody happier than you can imagine,” came the reply, along with a list of things they wanted including in this song they were getting for their best friend’s birthday from one of his most favouitest musicians, truly a futuristic and amazing gift if e’er there was one.

The list was extensive, and included the following:

CULTURAL REFS:-

Ben’s love of John Hughes films – esp Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (this film taught Ben essential life skills for a teenage lad!)

Quentin Tarantino
Beastie Boys
Morrissey and The Smiths
The Rocky movies
Escape To Victory

Be fun to refer to changing technology of Ben’s life – when he was at school he had a Commodore 64, then Playstation, now it’s smartphones, twitter and facebook

Wes Anderson – esp Rushmore
Paul Thomas Anderson – esp Magnolia

SCHOOL DAYS:-

Ben was different from the other kids at school in that he loved American culture and sports – esp American Football, hip-hop, cool films

Ben’s favourite NFL team is Miami Dolphins, fav player was Dan Marino

We even formed our own American football team in the school playground, called the B.E. Panthers

Ben loved English literature – be great to weave some of it into the lyrics, we loved Gerard Manley Hopkins and his use of alliteration and onomatopaeia. Ben loved Shakespeare, especially Henry IV Part 1, in particular Hal’s soliloquy which he used as a mantra for life on many occasions! Be great to weave a line or two from this into it, he’d love that:-

If all the year were playing holidays,
To sport would be as tedious as to work;
But when they seldom come, they wished-for come,
And nothing pleaseth but rare accidents.
So, when this loose behaviour I throw off
And pay the debt I never promisèd,
By how much better than my word I am,
By so much shall I falsify men’s hopes;
And like bright metal on a sullen ground,
My reformation, glitt’ring o’er my fault,
Shall show more goodly and attract more eyes
Than that which hath no foil to set it off.
I’ll so offend to make offence a skill,
Redeeming time when men think least I will.

After school Ben went on a road trip round the States, taking in the country and culture he loved so much, where among his hi jinks he was taken in by the Moonies (church/cult)

UNI DAYS:-

Dudley Campus – best friends were Eddie, Christian, Jeremy, Tom Nash

Goldsmiths (nightclub) – all you can drink for 99p

Corridor 1 parties with the Dutch mafia

Stealing Farmer Dave’s milk from the kitchen

POST-UNI (last 18 years!):-

Scriptwriting / Making the short film “Going Home” in 2010 / Got played at film festival in Yorkshire

Has written several scripts, watches films every weekend, trying to get published, no luck yet!

That’s Ben’s dream, he lives for film scripts, desperately wants to be a film writer.

It will happen for him one day!

So, I poured myself a vodka soda, typed “America” into a search box, and sampled the first four bars of the first music that appeared. A few minutes later I had the chorus, and half an hour later I’d written the song. I poured another vodka soda, turned the lights down, and recorded it, right here in my MIDNITEbother Wadey’s Hollywood apartment, where a younger Ronald Reagan used to get up to all manner of no-good.

A few days later Ben was presented with his song. I’m told it was a very emotional moment.

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Anyway, I love the song, so with Ben’s permission I am sharing it today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEN, you uppercase G you.

Get your VERY OWN SONG for a limited time by cleeeeking here. And enjoy this brand new MIDNITEMEN remix while you’re at it. New shit coming very soon. SPLASH!

— Thursday, February 5th, 2015

Wednesday, February 4th, 2015

STEFAN-NARKIEWICZ

60 years ago today the gods saw fit to send a sweet, dark angel to this Earth, a tiny screaming screw-faced boychild who would one day come to be known as Dr Stefan Narkiewicz, medieval history and pop music expert, archivist slash hoarder of a world famous mountain of historical music and video formats, and father of me, Akira The Don.

Thank you dear father, for the gifts that you gave me, most importantly of course a defining love of music that will guide me until I depart this mental plane and join you in Valhalla or wherever it is that Polish/Brummy Warrior Gods end up.

I love you, Stefan Narkiewicz, whose dick I verily came out of many moons ago, and I can’t wait for you to visit us, and your grandson Hercules, here in this new home we are making for ourselves in America, a land I would never have looked toward were it not for the songs you played me as a boy. Happy birthday you bad motherfucker. I’m gonna play this all day in your honour.

— Wednesday, February 4th, 2015