TERMINATOR! GRIME EMCEE! PIONEER OF A MUSIC HE CALLS “DARK SIDE!”

ALEISTER X! PUNKY GOTHY DUDE IN NEW ERA FITTED AND FACE PAINT! PIONEER OF A MUSIC HE CALLS “DARK SIDE!”

WHO IS DARKEST? LET US RUMBLE! DING DING!

So, that was Terminator, one of Scorchers boys, spitting some nasty ass bars about how DARK SIDE he is. Check those bars:

“WHEN I FIRST KNIFED MAN
IT FELT FUNNY
THEN NEXT DAY COME
IT BECAME FUNNY
I DON’T KNIFE FOR FUN
BUT I’LL KNIFE YOUR MUM
IF SHE BACKS THE WAR
THEN I’LL KNIFE HER LUNG
FEEL BAD AFTER
GET OVER IT
SHE SHOULD OF THOUGHT TWICE
ABOUT BACKING HER SON”

He means that metaphorically, right? Right?! Gah!

OK. Terminator then. He is pretty Dark Side. But this guy that just had an EP come out on Andrew W.K.’s label (before the dastardly “STEEV MIKE” came along and took it over), Aleister X? He’s got a song called Dark Side. And he wears creepy face paint. And he’s named after THE KING OF DARKNESS HIMSELF. Check him out:

Rah then. That one has a classic AWK “Party Progression”, but while Terminator talks a lot about his Dark Side, Aleister X actively encourages dark behaviour from the listener. Sample lyrics:

“FROM THE STREETS OF KINGSTON
TO THE PUBS OF BRIXTON
TO ALL THE DANCEFLOORS AROUND THE CLUBS
ALL YOU GEEZERS, TEASERS AND EBENEEZERS
LISTEN UP GET IN TOUCH
WITH YOUR DARKSIDE!”

Notice both Aleister and Terminator use the word “geezer.” But who’s Dark Side is darkest? The dude with the Crowley fetish and the face paint? Or the dude who wants to STAB YOUR MUM IN THE LUNG?! Only you can decide!

— By Akira The Don on Monday, February 1st, 2010