I forgot he was talking all that smack at the beginning. Cussing another man’s hoes?! He deserved a damn sight more than he gets at 03:27.

If you’ve read the excellent Goodnight Jim Bob: On the Road with Carter USM , like wot I have, you’ll be aware that that was all Marky Mark Whalberg and His Funky Bunch’s fault, for commandeering the bogs backstage at the Smash Hits awards! Swine!

• Limbo
• CNN Covers Swine World Muder Program With Relatively Straight Face Shocker
• Between rock and a harder place…
• Why Is Lethal Bizzle Calling N Dubz’ Tulisa A Slag?
• Be Hermione
• Grant Morrison: The Documentary Film + Did Batman RIP Rip Off Tom Strong?

Tags: awards, Carter, carter the unstoppable sex machine, Carter USM, phillip schofield, smash hits