See, when Drought 3 dropped, I was worried. There was that Godawful version of Gnarls Barkley’s Crazy dude caterwauled all over, remember? “Damn Wayne,” I thought. “You cannot sing. Never sing again!”

All little fella seems to do these days is sing. Badly. Dropped in, Autotuned out. The two most recent Carter 3 leaks follow the pattern.

Got Money (great title kid!) featured King Autotune T Pain, and finds Wayne warbling lazily about being in a club. Wayne has the audacity to squawk all over T Pain’s last chorus like a drunk girl at a Spice Girls gig. I am embarrassed for everybody involved.

Me And My Drank is six or seven minutes of rotten, stoned moidery on the subject of cough medicine, made bearable by the beat and chopped and screwed hook. Wayne’s problem is summed up very well by Wayne himself at the end:

“I’m in the lab no pad no pen just a styrofoam cup I can pour four in.”

YO! RAPPERS! PUT DOWN THE DRUGS! PICK UP THE PEN! ENGAGE THE BRAIN! WRITE ON THE PAD! IT IS YOUR ONLY HOPE!

Shout out Karl Wild for sending me the Illuminatus! trilogy. I’ve been reading that this weekend in the park, it is thusfar awesome!

• Lil Wayne – Tha Carter III Review
• Hot Crap! Weezy’s Good Again!
• Banger Of The Week: Jadakiss – Death Wish
• SAMPLEWATCH 09: SPACE GET WAYNED
• WANTED: Lil Wayne Impersonator For Blind Fan’s Birthday Party
• Small Gods

Tags: drank, drugs, got money, illuminatus!, lil wayne, me and my drank, rubbish, start wrting you twat, trilogy, wasted talent