LondonTelegraph | March 27, 2007
Philip Johnston

The Home Office also announced a review of policing to be carried out by Sir Ronnie Fanagan. the chief inspector of constabulary. He will try to find ways to cut red tape, make the police more accessible to the public and give forces greater say over their budgets.

What do I make of that? My friend: There is no fucking way I’m raising my kids in this country. Res ipsa loquitur.

Washington Former Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld cannot be tried on allegations of torture in overseas military prisons, a federal judge said Tuesday in a case he described as “lamentable.” U.S. District Judge Thomas F. Hogan threw out a lawsuit brought on behalf of nine former prisoners in Iraq and Afghanistan. He said Rumsfeld cannot be held personally responsible for actions taken in connection with his government job. The lawsuit contends the prisoners were beaten, suspended upside down from the ceiling by chains, urinated on, shocked, sexually humiliated, burned, locked inside boxes and subjected to mock executions. Read more. Texas A teenager has been jailed for more than a year for shoving a teacher’s aide at her high school, a case that has sparked anger and heightened racial tensions in rural East Texas. Shaquandra Cotton, who is black, claims the teacher’s aide pushed her first and would not let her enter school before the morning bell in 2005. A jury convicted the 15-year-old girl in March 2006 on a felony count of shoving a public servant, who was not seriously injured. The girl is in the Ron Jackson Correctional Complex in Brownwood, about 300 miles from her home in Paris. The facility is part of an embattled juvenile system that is the subject of state and federal investigations into allegations that staff members physically and sexually abused inmates. Read more. Des Moines Noreen Gosch continues to be bombarded with footage of her son, and other children, being molested by swine. She writes: The physical, sexual, emotional abuse to children is continuing at an alarming rate in our country and world. One aspect is …. Child/Human Trafficking. Some are making a profit off from showing this material…. using other peoples children. Everyone who reads this should be angry and concerned. If they did this to my son, Johnny age 12 when he was kidnapped … they can do it to your child next. There is nothing preventing it.. This type of criminal knows the laws are weak and most likely they would not be caught. I take particular exception to this because one of the kids they kidnapped and used was my son …… Johnny Gosch. Read more. Iran “Perhaps we should get some perspective by imagining how we might react if the Iranians had occupied France and were patrolling the English channel,” runs a post on the UK Telegraph , responding to the capture of 15 British sailors by Iran. Indeed. But I can think of one better. Perhaps we’d get some perspective if we realized MI6 and the CIA plotted against the democratically elected government of Mohammad Mossadegh in 1953. “If there had not been a military coup, there would not have been 25 years of the Shah’s brutal regime, there would not have been a revolution in 1979 and a government of clerics,” Ibrahim Yazdi , a former foreign minister and leading member of a political party that traces its origins to Mossadegh’s National Front, told the Christian Science Monitor on the 50th anniversary of the coup and installation of the Shah. “Now it seems that the Americans are pushing towards the same direction again. That shows they have not learned anything from history.” Read more. I returned to the Muse and My Chemical Romance albums of last year this afternoon. I am kind of blown away by them, still.

By The Svenhunter

“Yeah well, you went to see The Horrors, supporting The Gossip, in Hoxton, on the half-price guest list, and you thought Farris had a great voice, and that theirs was a fresh new sound, and you thought that that bint from The Gossip was hot, and that she’s a soul sensation, and you tried to chat her up, but she pretended not to notice, and then one of the guys from The Horrors who’s not Farris laughed at you because you were wearing an Incubus T-shirt, And then you tried to start a fight with him, and then you got thrown out, and then two of the other guys from The Horrors who aren’t Farris kicked you in the ribs a few times before running away, and then that bint from The Gossip stood on you, and now you’re in hospital, and you’re in Homerton, because that was the closest hospital, or because your friend (who is called Chuck, even though he’s not American) was drunk and drove the wrong way, and there are rats in your ward, and I’m not visiting you, because I never liked you, because you’re a terrible, terrible person, and I only got you that Incubus T-shirt just to see if you’d wear it, and you did, and I laughed, but only behind your back, because I wanted to see how long you’d carry on wearing it, and you’re still wearing it aren’t you? Yes, I bet you are.”

Quite.

The new South Park was a 24 parody. It wasn’t all that good to be honest. My kippers were great, but they have FUCKED ME UP, and I don’t seem to be able to do anything of any use right now, which is freaking me out. I’ll lie down for an hour then see if I work or not. Yes. That is a great idea. That’s what my Granddad used to do. Worked fine for him. He called slippers kippers as well. “Up them wooden hills to bedfordshire!” he would bark, warmly, Brummishly. “Take of your beetlecrushers!”

Mayne, you should have seen him trying to describe a shark during a game of Articulate one time. Them were the days.

James writes:

That’s it. Things have got weird enough
I’m turning pro

Presidential advisor, warmonger, and child abuser Karl Rove does hip-hop. OMG. Notable line: “That’s right, he can’t be beat / cos he’s so white from his head to his feet.”

Man oh man, these swine are MOCKING US! Shall we not string them from trees? Go on. It would only be Right.

PS - note the Fox NEws ticker tape at the bottom, blahing about Nazi death camps. One of Rove’s favourite ideas for the American people.

So, the massive creative surge predicted by Ali’s tarot reading is in full swing. Writing for the new album is going brilliantly, yesterday’s session with Dego and Envy was the stuff of legend,and today’s session with Mushtaq was a revelation. I am very happy in this part of my life, and many others right now, and I am grateful.

Thank you for all your letters, you lot have been brillaint lately, it is all very encouraging. I shall run another letters page shortly, and shall get that new mixtape sorted so you have something to tide you over until the Next Level. There are some fucking ace songs on there that you are going to love very hard, and I am thankful to you all for being a part of that.

Love.

@!

Now we all know what I think about R Kelly, but this is inexcusable.

What a bastard!

Waking up at 1pm with a weed hangover in a bed full of Pringles crumbs and ash, sun shining down on my waste-ass, How was I to know I was doing what any man should do on National Ignorance Day?

Yeah, I am so in the cognosphere, I am it.

FORSOOTH!

Yeah baby, case you didn’t know, today is International Ignorance Day. And how do we celebrate? Well if your G-Unit’s most rubbish, Tony Yayo, you pick a fight with a 14 year old.

“G-Unit’s Tony Yayo turned himself in to New York City police on Saturday afternoon (March 24) on charges of harassment and endangering the welfare of a child. The arrest stems from an incident during which the rapper allegedly approached and slapped 14 year-old James Rosemond when they spotted him on the street wearing a Czar Entertainment t-shirt. The boy is the son of Jimmy “Henchmen” Rosemond manager for The Game and head of Czar Entertainment. According to the New York Post, Yayo spotted the younger Rosemond on Manhattan’s West 25th St. as he and 50 Cent were leaving the offices of Violator Management. At that point, witnesses say the rapper approached the boy, flashed a gun that was tucked into his waist, and pushed him up against a wall. Yayo is then said to have asked the boy his age before stating, “I don’t give a fuck how old you are - Fuck Czar Entertainment!” and slapping him. “It’s a shame that 50 Cent & Tony Yayo could feel comfortable slapping and physically attacking an innocent 14-year-old minor that they market and promote their records to.” James’ mother, Cynthia Reed said in a statement. “This is a cowardly act on my son who has done nothing to warrant the verbal and physical abuse he received . . . This should be looked as a step away from child molestation.” As Yayo was being transported from Manhattan’s 13th precinct to central booking yesterday evening, he reportedly bragged to reporters that 50 Cent would have him out of jail “by tomorrow.”

Good work Yayo! Truly that is some ignorant shit!

In other news, Lil John has gotten his minstrel ass into the Guinness Book Of World Records with his ignorant ass “Crunk Aint Dead” chain, the “largest diamond pendant” in the world.

“The King of Crunk’s chain is appraised at $500,000 and has a total of 73 diamond carats. The piece was created by jeweler Jason of Beverly Hills and is 3,756 genuine round-cut white diamonds set in 18-karat yellow and white gold. The chain is 7.5 inches tall and weights 5.11 pounds. “I’m glad the Guinness World Records folks acknowledged me and my Crunk Ain’t Dead piece,” Jon says. I spent a load of money on that chain. I had no idea I would break a record and be recognized for it. It’s an honor to be included on that list. Let’s just see how many rappers try to outdo my pendant and break my record. They don’t call me the King of Crunk for nothing!””

You tell um Jon! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-yah! Hey I’m listening to the Prodigy mixtape. It’s brilliant. Mac 10 handle is such a classic:

“I sit alone in my dirty ass room starin at candles, high on drugs.
All alone wit my hand on a mac 10 handle, schemin on you niggaz. “

I love P, even though I don’t believe for two seconds he could even pick a gun up, that Smurf! ROFL MAO!

Oh great. The Blob has his own MySpace. Go befriend the little sod, cheer his pink ass up.

When you’ve done that, go buddy up my new Yankee peoples - they both found me yesterday. This be a fourteen year old black kid from Flevoland, who has Papoose on his page yestreday, and this be a 35 year old white lady from the self same area of Yankland. UNITED BY RAP! She has Chris de Burgh on her page! How ill is that?

I gotta big up the good Dr Adam Bailey for taking a new hard disc, and making my old system work again. No longer am I constrained to a laptop. My shit is wide open, like newborn’s EYES, fool. BOOYA!

(Yes, I have seen squinty eyed babies. Not the point)

Hey yo! Check out my man THE BIZ doing Benny And The Jets on the ole Chris Rock Show, wot I used to watch I my appartment room when I was in New York the year before last. I missed this though. This is so beautiful. MAYNE!

I’m out in the country right now, where the sky is black as pitch and light shines through the stars like bulletholes. Plus it is super quiet, and the sound of my typing is obnoxious and thunderous.

Still - I heard the door knock earlier. My Mam and her boyfriend were in bed, so I answered, and a wiry bald dude brandishing a metal rod stood at the door, asking if any of us were out by the car, as some disturbance was coming from that direction. I said, no. Dude figured it was thieves. Robbists! Country burglars!

I said, “you want me to tool up and come look?”

Which, on reflection, was a weird thing to say. Tool up? Wow. My old mate Danny said that once. I had no idea what he was on about. He turned up at my rented room behind a curry house in Redditch one night looking sweaty and distracted. “Mind if I tool up?” he said, before making off into the night with a bunch of my spanners. I never saw him again. He was arrested that night for armed robbery.

Anyway. I did, and went out, but dude was coming back, rod gleaning, and there’d just been a minor accident or something, and coppers were there, so there was no need for my spade.

Spade! What was I gonna do with the spade anyway? Smack some dudes around the head? Then what? Ha! LOL at me and that spade!

Weirdness in the country.

Anyway. I am happy cos I finished the first batch of demos for my next album. We are talking BIGNESS! Big up Madison, Jeres and BJ.

Cheers John.

And having watched it again for the first time in a while, Wonchop, you RULE son.

Hey, at the end of my big ole day to day, I have been ‘laxing with some episodes of The Boondocks, which is gorgeous and TRUE, and the new South Park, which I bust a gut at. Followme!

Guess who just gave me a HUG?

That’s right. Well done. You are clever. It was, indeed, Chris de Burgh.

SERIOUS!

We had a very interesting conversation about God and death and politics and the art of storytelling. And at the end of it he gave me a hug.

Look out for the transcript of that one early next week then. Tragically, my camera’s battery died, so there is no photo, but we do have some audio, and he did sign my copy of Best Moves. Booya!

PS - It has just been bought to my attention that atd9 has disappeared off of the site, and I can’t find it anywhere. Do any of you have it and wanna Yousendit over so I can out it back where it belongs?

OK you good good people. It has been an awesome day. I have been awake for a day or so now, so before I turn off, I’m a hit youoff with the allstar Hypocrite remix. ME! NARSTIE! JERES! ALL OF WHY LOUT?!

Download here.

PAX!

NEWSFLASH!

Some crazy dude called Scott Stubblefield from St Louis in the US of A has done a really fucking slamming remix of CLONES, go check it out.

I don’t know how I missed this:

George Monbiot VS David Bellamy!

Sample quote:

“Until you began your campaign to debunk the science of climate change, I had great respect for you. So did all the environmentalists I know. I am sorry to report that this is no longer the case.”

Yowza! Truly this is the new holocaust denial. To have the wrong opinion in this day and age is to negate a lifetime of good works. Dave went to jail for THE TREES, droog!

Ah, always it was so. And who am I to comment on all of this? I am but a small BrummyPole that remembers a bit of Welsh, and spends his time composing ditties.

On the topic of deep politics, Jeff Wells recently wrote,

“There seems a prevailing consensus that a concession of uncertainty is a sign of soft-headedness, or even indicative of complicity in disinformation and cover-up. At the risk of being tagged a disinfo artist, I don’t think so. When I’m unsure of something - and I’m unsure of a lot of things - I like a nice maybe or perhaps. In fact, I think an admission that one might be wrong should be the price of serious appraisal. Not only am I disinclined to heed those who claim to have solved the puzzles of our time’s hidden riddles, but I’m likely to red-flag them with suspicion. And the same should go for me if I ever say, unreservedly, that This is the way things are.”

Which is true. Suo jure.

Gwilym writes:

Know you… have some interest in this - didn’t see the program but an interesting response - with a sensible conclusion.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/Columnists/Column/0,,2032570,00.html

To which I replied:

Cheers Gwil!

I had a big argument with Jeres about this last night. I am personally unconvinced as to the extent of CO2’s role in global warming, and am amazed at how many people espouse the fascistic view that, even if it isn’t, we should pretend it is anyway “just in case”, and sentence 2 billion people to death and poverty. Of course we should attempt to pollute less. But to wilfully create some evil CO2 Satan to keep us in line smacks of classic religious madness to me. Sure it’s fine for someone to believe in Satan so they stop doing mean things like killing people (duh!), but when the greedheads hijack that faith to their ends, is when it gets ugly, and we realise that we ought to have relied on common sense a bit more from the get go.

@!

Oh, and I just got sent this, adding more fuel to this rotten fire.

“Global warming is a false myth and every serious person and scientist says so. It is not fair to refer to the U.N. panel. IPCC is not a scientific institution: it’s a political body, a sort of non-government organization of green flavor. It’s neither a forum of neutral scientists nor a balanced group of scientists. These people are politicized scientists who arrive there with a one-sided opinion and a one-sided assignment.”
Vaclav Klaus, President of the Czech Republic

Hurrah for the internet. You can now watch The Great Global Warming Swindle on Google Video. I urge you all to do just that. The lunatics are taking over the asylum, and they hate Africans more than Henry Kissinger.

We made an ace song! Hurrah!

Oh shit!

Now I’m back in the writing thing, it is nice to have a quality piece of TV to cop off the internet as a reward, like, when I done finished a demo.

Guess what?

South Park is BAK!

And it is funny as fuck. Wanna see Cartman wrestle a midget? Wanna see KKKramer explain his cracker ass?

GET IN!

If you are a woman, here’s another reason you might wanna consider that sex-op - if you fall asleep on a plane, you might get jizzed on. Check the mochyn report on some poor American girl:

“Near the end of the flight, the FBI said Gonzalez sat next to the woman as she was trying to sleep. He touched her, which she described as spooning, lifted her shirt and then got up and left. Court documents said she felt a warm fluid on her back, clothes and seat after he walked away. She told the officers he had ejaculated on her.”

Weak! Apparently the dude is facing 6 months in jail. 6 months is nothing to a serial pervert in God’s America (unless he’s a Bush). As someone commenting on the ever riotous Byron Crawford’s blog pointed out, “almost seems worth it to grope and jizz on some random hot woman on an airplane.”

Who said she was hot?

Anyway. I have been busy making what people in the rap community tend to term “bangers”. Lots of really fast hi-hats and descending toms.

Ha! I just had a mental image of loads of cats coming out of the clouds bearing arms.

Ahem. Yeah, it is all super good. Dego brown came round yesterday, which was lucky for him as I’d been up all night making some shocking piece of music, and lucky for me, as he spat some fireballs on it.

In other news, the programme we’ve been making for Al Gore’s new TV station is finished, and you might just be able to see the Hypocrite video on YouTube tomorrow.

What a wonderful world.

Rah then. My boy Joey Driscol has been nominated for best Live Act in the Indy Music Awards, whatever they are. It’s fair, Joey is really good live. He does a one man version of Outkast’s The Whole World that bangs. I just voted, but I had to give my email address, which rather sucked. I suppose I could have put a fake one in. I hate email harvesters. People keep telling me I need to make you give your email every time you download something or leave a post. I suppose we DO have to spend too much time deleting spam off the threads. I hate giving my email address every time I look at some dumb website. But whatever.

That shit at the top? Well, I was reading this interview with Gene Simmons, and it reminded me that I was planning on selling you some hand made statuettes of The Blob. I make him with Fimo for flesh and a bit of metal for a spine, then I stick him in the over. I burned one innit. You gots to be careful with blobs. Who wants one?

You just bought Thieving on MP3. You’ll get an email with details of how to download your copy within 24 hours.

Cheers!

@!

A reader writes:

Hey man, cheers from Canada. Any plans to release the version of
Hypocrite that shows up on Newgrounds? I honestly think it’s more catchy
than the album version.

cheers |m/
Paul

Which is a good point. The sped up, revocalled, 3 minute pop version of Hypocrite, as heard in the video (which has been viewed a pretty smart 89,345 times. Rah!) is out today. You can buy MP3s at the following places:

iTunes UK: here
iTunes World: here
PlayLouder: here
7 Digital: here.

Now go watch the BBC lying, very stupidly, and visibly, about Building 7 on 911. Clever them! During a live feed, they reported that Building 7 had fallen, when it hadn’t! When it was still standing tall BEHIND THE REPORTER! Insane!

Cough.

YESSIR! I am still hyped about having the internet, and I have taken the oppurtunity to get together a wee letters column! Yes I have!

OK, I get too many emails now to be able to answer them all individually AND make a new record AND keep Jeres out of trouble, so I am going to do one of these regularly. How regularly I am not sure. I will suss that out. In the meanwhile, if youmailed me and I didn’t get back, it was so not out of hate. Not never.

SO! We kick off today with a lovely picture from Hannah Gushue, who explains: “This is based on your Club NME, 2005 pictures. =)”

Top work Hannah! That is brilliant, and will go straight in The Gallery (along with the other pile of entries we have been too otherwise engaged to sort since we relaunched). Anyway. On with the letters! Forsooth!

What’s up man? My name’s Marcus, I’m in college in the US.

P.S. Hit me up with an e-mail if you’ve got the time. Laters!

It is easy, for some, to forget the awesome combinative power of cartoons and songs. Cartoons and songs go together like Canibus and wack beats. Or Coke and cancer. GETME?

Quite. I am listening to Bruza on Westwood. Gotta love Bruza.

Which has nowt to do with it. Or does it? Yes. Anyway. Thanks for your letter, and welcome to the house Marcus. Don’t bother with the shops, they won’t have it blatantly, it’s TOO GOOD! Click shop in the top right of this here screen. We post worldwide. Send me a picture of your Mam with it when it arrives. I am interested in Mothers. Mothers are super cool. I bet Bruza’s mam is ace, and I bet yours is too.

Akira

Dear Fishy

I am so going to sue you.

I got a question, i dought you will anwser this, how long have you been a artist?
they call me juggalo

Dear They Call Me Juggalo

I am assuming they call you Juggalo cos you are a Juggalo. Big up son! Juggalos are super cool - they put on make up and go to Insane Clown Posse shows and throw soda pop about the place and wile the fudge out. I approve.

Anyway. I reckon I ‘ave been a artist since I was born. I kicked along to Adam And The Ants records in my mam’s belly and I was scrawling on walls as soon as I got hold of a crayon. But I’ve been properly focused on making music for, like, four years I guess. Prior to that I had no focus. Focus is pretty essential.

i know i just saw your new video ”hypocrite”on newgrounds it wuz madd cool yo i think you should be on mtv or bet or on da radio or somthin cuz your cooler then n.w.a. and lil’ wayne put together.also im tryin to et people in my school to know bout’ you.
i need help getting your videos on my myspace itz hard cuz i cant find any of your videos on myspace really i wanna get livin in da future but i cant
maddogg
New Jeresey

Dear Maddogg
Thank you for your letter, is is a very beautiful thing and makes me glad. I dunno about cooler than NWA and Lil Wayne though, but I’ll take the compliment and frame it.
Anyway, I guess I was kind of hating on that LITF thing for a while - I always go off things I;ve made a little while after I’ve made them, but there’s enough space between making it and now for me to see that, indeed, it was awesome, so I’m gonna dig the thing out and get it on YouTube, just for you.

hi,love your stuff its awesome and fresh,but also,you ever seen the movie joe dirt?,you remeber me of kinda the joe dirt of hip hop,if you aint seen it,go watch it,its awesome,!
Ryan
26Mansfield

LOL..

hey love the tracks errr how long did it take you to get such a good flow cos id like to do what you do
-sean-

Hey Sean
FYI, I decided to rap properly on the 1st day of the 1st month, 2000 AD. I wanted to be a cartoon rap star. I think I started there and then. Now it’s 2007, and I am a cartoon rap star. Careful what you wish for.

Every, I say, EVERY time you come out with something new, (like the spiffy new video) you remind me why I describe you to friends as “my favourite rapper.”

I hope you go platinum, and no bullshit.
Makyomaru
32
New York

Makyomaru - you get acest name of the week award. And I hope you get all the love a person can, live a full and happy life, and get to float about the world in a hot air balloon.

First off, I’m a big fan. I’ve been listening to your stuff since early 2005. 1234567 is by far my favorite song, unfortunately i live in the united states so it’s pretty much impossible to find a copy of when we were young. Anyway. I’m the frontman/vocalist of the band The STD’s, and although we’re working to get stuff recorded, we just started out [and the name is going through cycles]. I was wondering if it’d be alright if we used your song Clones as part of our set? It’s a damn good song, and it’ll help you get a larger audience from the US. We’ll translate the song into a more punk-rock format, but we’ll try to keep the overall sound the same. The lyrics will remain the same, but to make it a bit less hip hop and more appealing to american audiences i’m gonna shift the lyrics around a bit.

Can’t wait to hear from you,
-Will Reed
[that loser guy from the STDs]

Boo to the United States shops! And hurrah for the internet! We would be doomed without it. Like pigs in the desert.

Anyway, thanks for your letter. Of course you can use the song. The STDs is a great name, so do with it as you will. I can’t wait to hear what you do with it, and I’m sure neither can the rest of the mob who frequent this funny ole place. Keep in touch.

Yo i want to be just like u cuz ur madd cool.
OG Ebey
17 years old
KINGSTON, New York
United States

OG Ebey, you are righteous and safe, but don’t wanna be like me mayne - every time I lie down my hair tries to dread itself. It is a nightmare. If yours doesn’t I wanna be YOU. Plus, you get to be 21. I will never get to be 21 again.

WOW, you get to be YOU! How ill. Hmm. Pondering this has made me a little nostalgic. I am going to put on a Tom Waits record. I advise you to do the same.

akira! just got your album in the post this mornin man its awesome, lovin it! glorious things by far ma fave! how sales goin? it cool bein a big star an all that now eh?
Josh, 17, Potterhanworth

Wow, Bawlers, off of Orphans is so amazing. Josh! I am very glad you like the record, I like it too, and I have awesome taste, which means you do too. Whoo! We are awesome! I have no idea how sales are going, but you definitely bought it, and so did my Dad, unless you’re both lying to me, but you’d never do that, right? NAW!

Anyway. “Bein a big star” is pretty cool, mayne, I got chased up Stoke Newington High Street by a tramp today, NO LIE!

i have to say this. not very many british people i like… actually next to you, theres only one other. but you have inspired me on the british kinda hio hop you style you do. thank you. oh an dsign me up for the don army. go the revolution of good changes!
streetsk8ing

Nice one Streetsk8ing, that is very kind of you. But who’s this other British person you like? Is it Bono? I hope not, I wish fire on Bono’s face. HAW! Only joking. I don’t wish fire on anybody’s face, not even George Bush or Henry Kissinger or the little baby Jesus. I wish love and joy for all. Do you think for a second if Henry Kissinger knew true love he’s be happy to murder millions of babies? Hell no! So there you go. I hope that answers your questions.

I started to listen to “I Love You ft Envy” only to realize that I knew the
beat of my beloved Surjan Stevens. I noticed nothing mentioning that you
totally bit off of his song “John Wayne Gacy Jr”. You are a pathetic excuse
for a musician if you cannot even come up with your own beats so you have to
jack someone else’s.

THAT’S who Dego sampled then! I just copped the original song, and indeed, it is lush. Big up Surjan Stevens. But droog - it really is quite normal for people to take bits of other music and do new things with them and put them on mixtapes and not write a big list of all the component parts. I think half the fun is spotting the samples. Anyway do we really want to be sitting down listening to songs knowing exactly what they’re made of? Do you read the ingredients list on your chocolate gatteoux when you’re eating it? Hell naw!

(appologies to those who do that. It’s OK really)

Oi Akira, hows it goin? Just quick message to say am lovin the choons. Saw you wiv marvin the martian at the old blue last then the other day at 333. Fuckin awesome bruv, got the album in HMV and downloaded b-sides on itunes aswell.
Easy,
Matty :-P

Yes Matty, you are wise and G-like! And I am very glad you enjoyed that 333 gig, it was a bit of a weird one for us, but that you (and those crazy Brazillian dudes) wnjoyed it so much makes it all worthwhile innit.

Let us all have a group hug.

There you go.

Guess who’s finally got broadband in his house?

Go on, guess.

YES! IT IS ME! IT IS ME WHO HAS GOT BROADBAND IN HIS HOUSE!

I am listening to Alex Jones and compiling a letters page with a bunch of your emails and drawing pictures of Narstie for this documentary about ME and my MOB we’ve been making for Al Gore’s new TV channel. I have also been greasing a chicken with my HANDS and smoking fags. Word up.

Hypocrite’s out tomorrow. Actually, prolly right now, as Sunday opens early.

iTunes UK: here
iTunes World: here
PlayLouder: here

Look out for the Hypocrite remix, starring Why Lout? and Narstie also.

PAX!

Firstly, it is quite mad, given everything, that if one wants to read the sort of sensible, shouty political writing Hunter Thompson used to be so good at, one must look to Boris Johnson. Serious. Making his case against the looming nuclear strike on Iran, Boris refers to the “demented adventure in Iraq” carried out by the “warmongers”, talks of “utter madness” and calls Tony Blair a liar. Which is true. Hunter called him a “corrupt little shyster who enjoys his slimy role as a pimp and a prostitute all at once — selling a once-proud nation of independent-thinking people down the river and into a deadly swamp of slavery to the pimps who love Jesus and George Bush and the war-crazed U.S. Pentagon.”

Indeed. All that and worse. As I have been wah-ing about here for the past two years, it has long been the Pentagon’s goal to go all nuclear in Iran’s ass. They have changed their reasoning as many times as snake sheds his skin, but the end result will be the same. Ale jaca est.

Weird. This just turned up in one of my browser windows. It’s a 1970s BBC documentary on the man HST. Watch and learn. Or not.